I Was Never Good at Opening up About My Feelings
by snarkysweetness
Summary: Athena is forced to deal with the dead, against her will, even though she knows she needs to face her demons. *Set after DH around two of my OC's.* Rating is for innuendo, mostly. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: **Jo owns 'verse, Athena and Callum are mine. **  
Author's Note:** Slight character torture is love?

"You know, I was never good at opening up about my feelings, right?"

"Oh, I know, it's why we're here."

Athena crossed her arms and gave Callum a glare. He had always been a thorn in her side. Did some people really never change?

She remembered who it was she was dealing with; no, they didn't. Yes, he was less of an asshole than he had been in school, but he was still as cocky as the day was long. He also had the ability to anger her into doing things she'd rather not do; like now.

Callum Tucker has been Gryffindor's resident psychotic jackass when they were in school; and he'd spent the better part of their time there chasing her, until he'd found his soon-to-be bride. That had been the greatest day of her life; she'd been free of his little 'act'.

"Well, I don't want to do it, especially with you."

"Who would you rather do it with, Weasley?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Athena rolled her eyes. "No, actually, alone." She told him, walking back to the apapration point, but he grabbed her by the arm and began ushering back towards the gate.

"No, you just went on a drunken rant, which means you have shit you need to get out, beautiful, and this is the only way, McGonagall, come on. If I can chalk up courage to get married, you can do this."

"My courage is not in question! I'm very courageous, thank you. Not all of us can play on a Quidditch Pitch all day; some of us have real jobs."

Callum laughed and pinched her cheek. "There's my girl, nice and angry. You're cute like that you know? I can still call off that wedding if you want a real man."

"Really? I don't see a real man anywhere." She told him, shaking her head and stubbornly walking past him.

"Stay here. I don't need you listening in, got it?"

He put his hands up. "Fine, I'll be here, with the ghosts then."

Athena smirked. "Good, Tonks never liked you much anyway… wait, come to think of it, I don't either," she teased before turning and heading towards where Tonks' grave lay, next to Remus'.

She hadn't been here since the funeral, and she felt terrible for it. Callum was right; she needed to let things out sometimes; though, she did really want that letter back from Charlie. She'd think of something.

She took a seat on the grave, staring at the headstone. She didn't know what he'd expected her to say; they'd met up for drinks to celebrate his engagement and she'd had one too many and had made a few bitter remarks about a lot of things, and somehow, her anger with her best friend had came up.

Yes, she'd been angry; Tonks had Teddy, she shouldn't have been in that battle. One of them should have stayed behind, and now Teddy was left an orphan. Had it been her, she would have stayed behind. Athena would have been angry about it; yes, she loved the thrill of battle, but as a mother, your job was to protect your child.

As horrible as it was, she was mad at her for dying. Was that so terrible?

She'd been grateful that Charlie hadn't pushed for information when she had let that slip while yelling at Percy. She didn't want to talk about this to anyone, except this headstone and to herself.

"I don't know what jackass over there wants me to tell you Tonksy. I miss you… and Teddy's getting more handsome every time I get to see him. He'd be better off with you around though, you know?"

Athena shook her hair with one hand, biting her lip, tears in her eyes. She hated crying, and she'd been doing too much of it lately.

"Damn it Tonks! Did you have to die on me? And Teddy? And Charlie? We all love you and Remus…" she wiped her eyes and whispered. "It isn't fair you know? You, Remus, Fred? It was a bit much, Tonks. Now Kingsley and Marcello? I could use you here, you know? A partner in case-solving is never a bad thing."

Athena moved her fingers though the grass, looking down. This was never going to be easy, was it? She was brash and snarky, and spoke her mind; but when it came to opening up about her emotions; it was hard. She hated being vulnerable to others. Tonks had been the one open about that.

"I guess I need to learn from you Tonksy, tell people how I feel? I don't know how you did it so well. Got you Remus though, right?"

Athena looked around, as if Callum would be near, but she could still see him where she'd left him; good, he'd learned his lesson not to disobey her orders. She'd hate to have to hurt him.

She looked back at the headstone and scooted closer, her voice lower than it's been. "I've been sleeping with Charlie. I know, right? Stupid boy has me crazy for him. It's not the same though, I imagine you there teasing us. Life is just lonely without you Tonksy.

I hope you're at least up there smiling and making fun of us."

Athena felt a tear on her cheek and wiped it away. She struggled for a moment. "I-I love you Tonksy. I don't remember ever actually telling you that, and it makes me angry with myself. I don't tell anyone that, not really. I need to start; I figure you're as good of a place to start as there is.

I'd tell Charlie, but I don't need to scare the bloke off. Just because I'm in love with him doesn't mean I want anything to change with us. And yes, we're both workaholics, you don't have to tell me."

Athena moved her hand over the letters on Tonks' headstone, taking a very long moment before speaking again. "Don't worry, I won't let him forget the two of you; none of us will, Tonks."

She felt her eyes fill up again and she stood, wiping her eyes. She was shaking a bit and hugged herself.

She took one long last look before turning and heading back towards Callum, still hugging herself, taking deep breaths to compose herself. She didn't need to have him see her crying; she realized she did want someone to hold her while she cried, but it sure as hell wasn't him.

And, she was going to have to ask for it. Talk about personal growth.

"She talk back?" Callum asked, throwing an arm around her and kissing her cheek.

Athena made a face at him. "You have issues. Come on, I better get you home, you're still drunk, you're cheeks are all pink." She told him, leading him away from the Cemetery.

"Yes, I am, McGonagall. Do I get detention?"

Athena shook her head and they continued to exchange snarky remarks to each other, while Athena formed plans in her head. She was going to do something tonight that she was afraid to do, but she needed it.

She was going to ask for a shoulder, she only hoped he understood how much that meant that she was asking.


End file.
